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[ Open post | Tomorrow is another day, And you won't have to hide away ...]
What: Five being Five and also done with having a child body, so he does something stupid about it.
Where: Umbrella Academy House.
When: End of S2 but ignoring the last 5 minutes of episode 10.
Warnings: Again, Five being Five.
Who: Five + anyone foolish enough to walk into the hot mess that is his life
A ] Nothing surpasses the beauty and elegance of a bad idea.
[ From ceiling to floor, the walls of Five's old room are covered with equations. They're not the ones Luther found him writing a month ago -For Luther that happened a year and a month ago, time travel is funny like that- but new ones that Five keeps adding daily. Allison, bless her motherly heart, mentioned something about Claire drawing on the walls when she was a toddler, and yesterday a huge, movable chalkboard had found its way into Five's room.
Klaus had been half right when he accused him of being addicted to the Apocalypse. His fixation wasn't interest in the End of The World on itself but the by-product of an obsessive mind that needed something to focus on. After 45 years with a clear goal in mind, spending decades thinking of ways of going back, to save his family, Five has no contingency plan, no idea what to do now that doomsday has been adverted. Some days he still can't believe it and most nights he doesn't want to fall sleep fearing that he will wake up with the taste of ashes in his mouth and the smell of burning flesh in the air, back in the remains of the library.
And yet, it looks like this time the apocalypse had been stopped for good. The Temps Commission, now under new management, is happy to leave the Hargreeves alone, lest they piss them off and people starts getting murdered. Vanya has better control of her powers and seems happier than before. It's good, not perfect, but more peace and happiness than Five ever dreamed to have. More than he ever thought he deserved.
Naturally, it's driving him a little insane.
Because things just don't go well in his life or with his family, and he's waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Shortly after they all came back from Dallas, Five had crashed and he spent the next 2 days sleeping like a brick. It was really embarrassing and only reminded him of how inconvenient it was to be stuck in a child's body that is nowhere near as durable as his older one. And that was when a new obsession and the equations started.
See, Five has a theory. One that he didn't bother to share with his siblings because they wouldn't understand anyway and there is no point in worrying them unnecessarily. Said theory is based on the idea that his powers had, so far, allowed him to travel through time but it stands to reason that the opposite could happen and he would be able to move time through him instead. Case in point: Child's body that shouldn't be here, yet somehow is, while his mind is the one of an adult.
Finding the right equation to use and apply it to his power is tricky because if he messes things up, he can go overboard and age too much too quickly and kill himself in the process. Quantum Physics are a pain in the ass but not as much as having to go through puberty a second time, or dealing with old ladies that call him 'darling' and then try to pat his head. So there goes nothing. Once he is 99'98% sure that he has the right equation, Five shifts his wrist and concentrates, a familiar blue light surrounding first his hands and then the rest of his body.
It's a different sensation from time traveling or spatial jumping. For starters, it hurts a whole lot more. His head feels like it's being split in two and there are bulls doing the merengue on his grey matter. His muscles burn and there's no air in his lungs when he tries to take a deep breath, chest seizing up as if he's drowning. Small drops of sweat run down his temple and neck. It feels as if he's an elastic cord, the tension growing exponentially until the stress is too much and something has to snap. His bones are melting and reshaping and Five hears his clothes rip and tear as his vision goes blurry.
All that, he had anticipated.
The door of his room exploding, not so much.
Oops. ]
Klaus had been half right when he accused him of being addicted to the Apocalypse. His fixation wasn't interest in the End of The World on itself but the by-product of an obsessive mind that needed something to focus on. After 45 years with a clear goal in mind, spending decades thinking of ways of going back, to save his family, Five has no contingency plan, no idea what to do now that doomsday has been adverted. Some days he still can't believe it and most nights he doesn't want to fall sleep fearing that he will wake up with the taste of ashes in his mouth and the smell of burning flesh in the air, back in the remains of the library.
And yet, it looks like this time the apocalypse had been stopped for good. The Temps Commission, now under new management, is happy to leave the Hargreeves alone, lest they piss them off and people starts getting murdered. Vanya has better control of her powers and seems happier than before. It's good, not perfect, but more peace and happiness than Five ever dreamed to have. More than he ever thought he deserved.
Naturally, it's driving him a little insane.
Because things just don't go well in his life or with his family, and he's waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Shortly after they all came back from Dallas, Five had crashed and he spent the next 2 days sleeping like a brick. It was really embarrassing and only reminded him of how inconvenient it was to be stuck in a child's body that is nowhere near as durable as his older one. And that was when a new obsession and the equations started.
See, Five has a theory. One that he didn't bother to share with his siblings because they wouldn't understand anyway and there is no point in worrying them unnecessarily. Said theory is based on the idea that his powers had, so far, allowed him to travel through time but it stands to reason that the opposite could happen and he would be able to move time through him instead. Case in point: Child's body that shouldn't be here, yet somehow is, while his mind is the one of an adult.
Finding the right equation to use and apply it to his power is tricky because if he messes things up, he can go overboard and age too much too quickly and kill himself in the process. Quantum Physics are a pain in the ass but not as much as having to go through puberty a second time, or dealing with old ladies that call him 'darling' and then try to pat his head. So there goes nothing. Once he is 99'98% sure that he has the right equation, Five shifts his wrist and concentrates, a familiar blue light surrounding first his hands and then the rest of his body.
It's a different sensation from time traveling or spatial jumping. For starters, it hurts a whole lot more. His head feels like it's being split in two and there are bulls doing the merengue on his grey matter. His muscles burn and there's no air in his lungs when he tries to take a deep breath, chest seizing up as if he's drowning. Small drops of sweat run down his temple and neck. It feels as if he's an elastic cord, the tension growing exponentially until the stress is too much and something has to snap. His bones are melting and reshaping and Five hears his clothes rip and tear as his vision goes blurry.
All that, he had anticipated.
The door of his room exploding, not so much.
Oops. ]
B] I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
[ Once the screaming, the yelling and the 'are you out of your fucking mind????' accusations had died down, and there had been a lot of those, Five is left trying to adjust to his new body.
It's still a little younger than he should be, much closer in looks to his siblings than his actual age, but he had tried to be cautious with the change and not age himself too far. Part of him, even if Five doesn't want to admit out loud, likes the idea of fitting in more with his family. The body seems to be fully functional, all his limbs are responding as they should, his powers working just fine and the headache of the first 3 hours is now gone.
Five has only stared at his face in the mirror briefly, trying to decide if he needed to shave and then not bothering with it. He didn't really pay attention to how he actually looks like, more concerned with finding clothes that fit him because the uniform doesn't anymore, thanks all the gods he doesn't believe in. The idea of checking for anything useful in Luther or Allison's closets is quickly discarded, the clothes too big or too colorful for his linking.
Diego's wardrobe is mostly all black, which suits Five just fine, but it isn't perfect either. The sweaters are nice but the sleeves are a tad too long and the open collar leaves part of Five's collarbone and the curve of his shoulder visible. He refuses to wear the turtlenecks on principle, so this is still a step up over walking around the house covered with a towel. Beggars can't be choosers. The pants, however, are a no-go. Too tight in some places and too loose in others, and overall too long. Five might have an older body and longer legs now but it looks like he will never really be properly tall.
In an act of pure desperation, while wearing one of Diego's old black sweaters that is surprisingly comfortable, Five checks Klaus' room next. It's either trying his brother's clothes or Vanya's, and Five actually respects her privacy enough to leave her room alone. ]
It was easier to find clothes in the Apocalypse. [ The man grumbles while holding a pair of leather pants. They're clean and they're his size but they're also leather pants.
Five tosses them into the pile of clothes already present on top of the bed. He finds a skirt next, that he's pretty sure belonged to Allison at some point, and actually gives it some thought before putting it back where he found it. In the end, Five slips into a pair of skinny low-rise jeans, frowning down at them when they still leave his belly button exposed. The sweater should cover it but it still feels weird when he walks. ]
How does he even move in these!?
It's still a little younger than he should be, much closer in looks to his siblings than his actual age, but he had tried to be cautious with the change and not age himself too far. Part of him, even if Five doesn't want to admit out loud, likes the idea of fitting in more with his family. The body seems to be fully functional, all his limbs are responding as they should, his powers working just fine and the headache of the first 3 hours is now gone.
Five has only stared at his face in the mirror briefly, trying to decide if he needed to shave and then not bothering with it. He didn't really pay attention to how he actually looks like, more concerned with finding clothes that fit him because the uniform doesn't anymore, thanks all the gods he doesn't believe in. The idea of checking for anything useful in Luther or Allison's closets is quickly discarded, the clothes too big or too colorful for his linking.
Diego's wardrobe is mostly all black, which suits Five just fine, but it isn't perfect either. The sweaters are nice but the sleeves are a tad too long and the open collar leaves part of Five's collarbone and the curve of his shoulder visible. He refuses to wear the turtlenecks on principle, so this is still a step up over walking around the house covered with a towel. Beggars can't be choosers. The pants, however, are a no-go. Too tight in some places and too loose in others, and overall too long. Five might have an older body and longer legs now but it looks like he will never really be properly tall.
In an act of pure desperation, while wearing one of Diego's old black sweaters that is surprisingly comfortable, Five checks Klaus' room next. It's either trying his brother's clothes or Vanya's, and Five actually respects her privacy enough to leave her room alone. ]
It was easier to find clothes in the Apocalypse. [ The man grumbles while holding a pair of leather pants. They're clean and they're his size but they're also leather pants.
Five tosses them into the pile of clothes already present on top of the bed. He finds a skirt next, that he's pretty sure belonged to Allison at some point, and actually gives it some thought before putting it back where he found it. In the end, Five slips into a pair of skinny low-rise jeans, frowning down at them when they still leave his belly button exposed. The sweater should cover it but it still feels weird when he walks. ]
How does he even move in these!?
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[ He pays attention to their siblings as much as he can without being noticed, memorizing what they like, dislike, and who they care about. That's why he knew the name of Allison's daughter -whom he still wants to meet- and how he noticed Klaus acting weird after he accidentally time-traveled to Vietnam. Some of his siblings are easier to read than others and
Vanyasome he just likes to pay more attention too. ]Good. We should find you matching shoes. Maybe sneakers? [ She always liked to be comfy, that Five never forgot. Ohhh, earrings. Girl, that's wild, calm down.
The suggestion reminds Five that he still hasn't picked out a pair but the truth is that he has no idea what jeans try on. He scrunches up his nose a little in disdain, a small frown on his face. He promised so he's not going to back off but he doesn't look forward to it. ]
Okay. But I warn you already that I'm going to look ridiculous.
[ Five's attention goes to a nearby row of different styled jeans and for a few seconds, he just stares. But no, a pair of normal jeans don't magically jumps out of the pile and fall into his arms. Loose fit jeans, skinny fit jeans, tapered fit jeans, narrow, relaxed, low rise...Five knows eight different languages and yet finds himself lacking. He turns to look at Vanya, not saying anything but all but silently screaming 'some help here?' ]
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She sees his distaste and confusion over the jeans. She gives him a fond smile before nudging past him and casually checking out the selection.
Skinny jeans are right out. He’d look good but be incredibly uncomfortable. Same with loose or baggy jeans. No bell cuts either, and he doesn’t have the hips for high waists.
Vanya takes her time before picking out a style of jeans she thinks will work for him. Fitted, but easily to move and work in. Reaches all the way to his ankles. Something comfortable and stylish for him to try.
She throws the jeans onto his pile.] Okay, you’re ready.
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Taking a step aside, Five lets her survey the options and his shoulders relax a fraction. Vanya knows him well enough to not pick something that will hinder his movements or that makes him feel like he is cosplaying Klaus of all people.
His eyes linger a few seconds on the two shop assistants standing a few aisles away from them, he can't hear what they're talking about but they're glancing back at his sister and him and smiling or giggling. They're trying to decide who gets to approach them, not like Five can hear them or would care if he did. Once he's certain they don't pose any immediate threat, his attention goes back to Vanya and her offering. ]
That looks acceptable. [ Don't mind him, Vanya, it's her way to say thanks. He's about to ask where the changing rooms are when one of the shop assistants from before, the bond one, appears by they side. ]
'Hello. Can I help you?' [ Her red lips stretch into a smile that to Five looks as plastic as the mannequins around them but there's something else in it that he can't quite place. He's also not too fond of the way she's hovering so close and seemingly ignoring Vanya, maybe she's an agent? He narrows his eyes a little as she continues with an all too friendly; ] 'These are very good choices, the blue suit would look very dashing with your skin tone. Do you want me to show you some of out matching ties?'
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Vanya expects the slightly horrified reaction of any sibling that's overhearing someone express interest--she remembers him when he was literally slinging mud at their brothers, for God's sake--but what she doesn't expect is the hot razor edge of tension and contempt that settles in her gut.
She tries to shake it off, tries to focus on the clothes instead, but then one of the girls comes over. Blonde. Pretty, too. Vanya tries not to think of how much prettier the girl is than her.]
He knows what he wants, [Vanya says shortly, sparing the woman a glance (and it's a bit colder than she means to be) before looking back at Five.] You want to find a changing room?
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She briefly looks at Vanya when the petite woman answers in Five's place. The smile on the blond's face doesn't waver but the overly friendly voice has a phony pitch now. ]
'Of course. Take your time to look around, madam. [ It's a dismissal if Five ever heard one. The way the blond immediately ignores Vanya to look back at him only make it cleared that she's up to something. But what, he can not tell. They're in somewhat good terms with the Commission now that Herb's in charge, there shouldn't be sending agents after them. Maybe it is something else? Someone seeking revenge? Or to make a name for themselves in the hitman business? ] Would you like to try that on? The fitting rooms are over there, how about I sho--
No, thanks. [ Five has taken a step closer and without really realizing it, in front of Vanya as well. His posture is deceptively relaxed but there's that tight-lipped smile on his face that says 'I know more than you do and I'm not happy'. But he doesn't, he has no idea what the irritating woman is up to and he wants to put as much space between her and his sister as possible. If things end in a bloodbath again, he will rather deal with this on his own without involving his family. ] We're good on our own.
[ And without another word, that's was already too much talking for his liking, Five wraps the arm that isn't holding his clothes around Vanya's waist and turns to walk down the corridor. Hopefully, that really is the way to the changing rooms because he honestly has no way to tell. The smile drops from the blond woman as soon as they move away and she starts to pout. Five is looking over his shoulder and not so subtly narrowing his eyes at her to make sure she doesn't try anything funny. ]
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The coil of irritation cools in her gut as she throws an arm over his shoulder, looking back to glare at the women before leaning her head in closer than she really should with her brother, but she has something important to say so she tells herself it's not weird that she leans close enough for her lips to almost touch his ear.]
They're not from the Commission. It's okay.
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Touching others comes easier to him if he does so while reacting out of protectiveness. That's why wrapping himself around Vanya now that his body size allows it feels so natural. Five can see the other shop assistant trying to hide her grin behind a hand at her coworker's frustrated attempt at...whatever she was doing. She meets his eyes by pure chance and takes the opportunity to wink at him. Five only glares harder.
He blames the shop assistant for distracting him and that's why he shivers lightly when there's a hot breath against the shell of his ear. His attention goes back to Vanya, their noses almost brushing when he turns his head and Five purses his lips. ]
We can't know that. She's acting really weird and trying to separate us.
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I can know that.
[Vanya’s too distracted by the whole situation to notice how close their noses are. Now that the woman has been frustrated and Five soundly rejected her, Vanya’s left feeling amused more than anything and there’s some laughter in her eyes as she looks back to Five, letting their arms stay around each other.]
I overheard them talking. She was trying to get your number, Five. She wanted to ask you out.
[She told you those cheekbones were dangerous, man.]
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I don't have a phone. [ He says in the end, clearing his throat, somewhat disconcerted. Five's not blushing like it had happened before but he's still distinctly flustered. The mere notion of someone trying to flirt with him is just, well...new. There's still a chance that Vanya's instincts are wrong and the women are out to get them. He almost liked that option better. ]
And even if I did, I wouldn't give it to her. [ Because that is the main issue here, of course. ]
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[Vanya has to try to stifle a laugh at his expression. She’s vividly aware of how this must look to outsiders, with their arms around each other, their faces so close and her teasing him after someone else failed to ask him out. She should care. She really should care. But she doesn’t.]
She was really rude about it. She was icing me out. Like she’s just so pretty that you’d just leave whatever woman you came here with to jump her. [Huff. How dare that woman. Yeah, she’s prettier than Vanya, but still. Have some manners.]
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[ Sorry Vanya, he misses the point because Five still doesn't think himself as anything special, look-wise. Part of that comes from growing up without looking at his own face regularly for 45 years and then not really liking what he saw when he managed to find a mirror intact. Her amused expression doesn't go unnoticed and that makes the corner of Five's lips twitch and the arm he has around her tighten a bit. ]
She's nowhere as pretty as she thinks she is and I'm very happy with the woman I am now. You'll have to protect me from the unwanted advances of irritating shop assistants. [ Or rather, she will have to convince him not to murder someone but ey, this gives him an excuse to walk around closer to Vanya. Five doesn't try to analyze why he enjoys it so much as he turns a corridor and spots the changing rooms at the far end. ]
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I'm very happy with the woman I'm with now. Something dangerous in Vanya is very pleased to hear that. She tries to punch it down in her head. It's not right, it's not right. He's just saying that because she's his sister.]
I'll keep you safe. No flirty attendants for you.
[And then there's the changing room. Vanya gestures towards it, grateful for the distraction to stop from thinking too hard about her feelings.] Okay, let's see how these clothes hold up.
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My knight in a shiny white suit. [ Five gives her a pleased look and before he steps into the changing room he mutters a quick, Don't go too far.
It's not a request but it still sounds like there's a clear 'just in case' attached to the end of the sentence. The blond lady might just be a shop assistant but Five is still concerned that someone from the Commission will show up one day to fuck up their lives again. Vanya can defend herself better than anyone but old habits die hard and Five would feel better knowing she's around.
Time to try on some clothes then. He starts with the blue suit first, happy go get rid of the terrible sweatpants and slip into something truly comfortable. The size seems right, the jacket framing his waist and the shirt not to tight or too loose but he's not sure about the ties. He tells that much to Vanya when Five pulls away the curtain and steps out so she can give him a good look. ]
...the ones here don't seem good enough. A tie pulls the suited look together and these just don't work. What do you think?
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Her eyebrows go up when he comes out in the suit. This is just unfair.]
The suit looks really good. Try this.
[Vanya walks up to him, untying his tie and slinging it over her shoulder before she undoes the first two buttons on his shirt. She's just giving her brother fashion advice she's just giving her brother fashion advice she's just giving her brother fashion advice--]
Check the mirror now and see what you think. I think it fixes the tie problem and now you look more casual.
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I'm going to look ridiculous. Five protests but turn anyway, ready to face disappointment. He's greeted by surprise instead. A 58 years old man wearing a suit with the top buttons of his shirt undone would be laughable. Except, his body isn't 58 years old anymore, without wrinkles and scars. He has to admit that it's not a terrible look for a 30 years old man. Looking up, blue eyes meet brown ones through the mirror and he gives a smile that would be called shy if it came from anyone but him. ]
Not bad?
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You see? I know a thing or two about fashion. I think that suit is definitely a yes.
[Vanya gestures at the pile.] Give the other ones a shot too. If you don't like the tie, just see how it looks with a couple buttons undone.
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It shows. It's really a shame that your sense of fashion wasn't a trait that was also passed onto Klaus.
[ Nevermind the fact they're not blood-related. After a nod, Five gets into the changing room again to try the rest of the suits. He asks for her opinion every now and then, less because he's all that concerned about the clothes and more because he likes to include Vanya. After all the suits, shirts and sweaters are tried on, that only leaves the jeans.
Five eyes them critically for a few seconds but tries them on as promised. They're surprisingly comfy, hugging his legs in a different way than the pants suits. The waist is much lower too, which is why he steps out of the changing room to look at Vanya for advice. ]
Are these supposed to fit me this way? I can see my underwear.
[ Perhaps he should have put on a shirt but then, how was Vanya going to tell for sure if the jeans were too low cut? ]
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[But Vanya freezes when Five walks out without a shirt. Five, she talked to you about the shirt. Jesus Christ.
Her cheeks become red and instantly her eyes veer off to the side.]
Yeah, those kinds of jeans fit pretty low. They look good with a shirt. [Also without one but that's just Five.]
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[ Did we actually talk? I forgot.
Five grew up used to wearing whatever he felt like in the Apocalypse, usually tons of layers of clothes because otherwise he got badly burned, and now he doesn't want to wear so many.
Plus he thinks he has a reason now and that reason is showing Vanya how the pants are lower than his bellybutton. That can't be right. ]
Not with the shirts I have here. The style clashes. [ And that sounds like a terrible offense to him. It's hard to miss Vanya's blush this time, not even Five is that clueless about people's reactions. ] Are you feeling all right?
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Just... try it with a shirt. I can find one that'll look good with it and still meet your old man standards.
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Are you sure you don't have a fever?
[ He even leans in to give Vany a better look, the suggestion about the shirt registering but not all that important right now. ]
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Vanya's cheeks burn, and she flicks her eyes to the ceiling, refusing to look at Five's face. It's wrong for her to think like this, and she doesn't want to risk her relationship with her brother by drawing attention to the issues she's having again. She's lucky enough it didn't become a big issue after her last outburst.]
No fever! Just--you know. You should put on a shirt.
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Right, ehm....I'll just take me a moment. We still need to go get your violin.
[ This time, when Five closes the curtain behind him, he feels like he's trying to hide something. Before, he blamed his odd body reactions to certain people on the fact he was going through puberty again. But now that his body is older, there's no reason to explain why he's feeling both flushed and frustrated by Vanya's rejection. It's confusing and he hates confusing.
Five changes clothes quickly, grabbing a shirt as Vanya wanted but also switching the pants for the suit ones and then putting on the jacket. No tie, and he remembers to leave unbuttoned the top buttons of the shirts. When he steps out, he's holding all the clothes he wants to keep, the jeans included. ]
I don't suppose there will be a problem if I wear the clothes I pretend to buy? [ His tone suggests he would make it an even bigger problem for the shop if they refuse his request. ] I don't want to go keep looking like a clown in Luther's pants.
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She scrubs her face with her hands before he comes out, blessfully dressed. Although now she's regretting giving him fashion advice, because he's still too attractive.
She takes a deep breath, struggling to just focus on his face.]
No, that should be fine. Especially with how much those girls were ogling you.
[Did she sound a little resentful? No, she was teasing him. Absolutely just teasing him.]
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Ogling...? [ He still thinks they were up to no good instead of flirting so the choice of the word makes Five think of the Handler's usual behavior. Which almost makes him frown in disgust. But again, Vanya herself sounds annoyed (for his sake, perhaps?) and that is charming in its own way. He shrugs and gives here a casual smile. ]
The sooner we pay and get out of here the better then. [ He offers Vanya the arm that isn't holding the clothes for her to take. ]